The Ugly Truth About Couchsurfing

3569911881-1472c4e005-b

Image by Pinterest

Today I decided to delete my Couchsurfing account. I’ve been an active member of CS since 2010. I could say I had my fair share of participation with CS as a host, guest and even as a travel buddy.

What is Couchsurfing?

To everyone who’s not familiar of what Couchsurfing is, it is a vibrant travel community of over 12 million locals and travelers.  A hospitality service and social networking website that provides a platform for members to “surf” on couches by staying as a guest at a host’s home, host travelers, meet other members, or join an event. (-Wikipedia)

Technically, in layman’s term, couchsurfing is the answer for vagabonds who wants to travel cheap, for backpackers who’s trying to save money by rather than booking at hotels and hostels for accommodation, they stay at a welcoming stranger’s house for “free” instead.

well… at least, that’s what it’s supposed to be.

So why am I deleting my account? You’ve probably guessed it by now.

laptop-closure-facebook-gif-delete-friends-break-up-social-media.gif

Today, the couchsurfing community has turned completely from a friendly society of world travelers into a dating site that helps illicit creeps have ‘no-strings-attached’ sex for free.

On the contrary, I totally understand that there are scenarios where; while  spending time at a total stranger’s place for free there would be moments the two of you would want to hang out together, go out for dinner and grab a beer after. The host would act as a tour guide for his/her guest. More often than usual, the two of you would probably hit it off due to the spark of human nature’s emotional chemistry or just simply being piss ass drunk.

Sure there are few great, cute stories that can’t be helped due to well *cough cough* hormones but that is to say the least.

The hidden reason why people sign up.

Nowadays, the couchsurfing community has evolved into a hook up site which works the same way as Tinder, OKcupid and other online dating websites that are most likely going to get you end up naked in someone else’s couch (..or bed). What’s worse, is that most of the 7 million+ users of the site are only there to participate in the casual sex rather than cultural exchange and sharing genuine experiences as world travelers and hosts (yea.. yea everyone knew this is all bullshit anyway).

Although the website’s community guidelines warns about how the site is not a means to contact other users for dating, the question is, does anyone ever gives a flying fuck about these guidelines? To add up, there aren’t any articles (on the site) given regarding penalties for violating this rule. It’s sad to see how the original concept of couchsurfing is confused with a standard solution for a horny male / female’s plea for an instant fuck.

One travel blogger even quoted:

“I simply do not know of an easier way for a guy to get laid with exotic women in exotic countries. Long live Couchsurfing!” (James Maverick of mavericktraveller.com)

You can find some of his confessional posts about what Couchsurfing really is for him, here in this article: 8 Signs of a Naughty Couchsurfer Girl.

With posts like these, countless of men are setting up accounts with a mentality that they’ll get laid instantly with every woman who walks on their doorstep asking for a place to stay. I would also want to site a couple of examples based on personal experiences back to where I was still using the site.

Although there are STILL some generous people out there who has the integrity to uphold the main reason why couchsurfing exist. I recalled the time back in early 2014 when I was planning a trip to Istanbul with a travel buddy (who’s gay). We deliberately decided to post our travel plans on the CS site to see if we can get other travelers in our area join the trip; “The more the merrier” as they say. It came to my surprise that only after a day or two, I’ve already received about 100 host invites from men, some of them does not even speak the english language and probably used google translate to send out a message that ends up sounding like “Come to my house, I be gentle”.  Eeep!

wtf-caleb

Even though I’ve indicated that we have our own hotels booked, some of these guys still insisted that I should stay with them, some even suggested that I should ditch my male travel buddy and spend my whole trip with them & they’ll make sure I’ll have a “good time”. Not sure, what they meant by that but something tells me a harassment report isn’t far away.

For the record, we never accepted any of the couch invites as it crept the hell out of me and while my gay friend was hopeful to meet the love of his life in Turkey, we ended up travelling together on our own… we did met with a couple of really nice people (travelers and locals) on our short stay in Istanbul who were very generous to take us to great places in the city & was kind enough to translate street signs for us. **

Meanwhile, there’s another website called Couchbangs.com  where you’ll see compilations of different couchsurfing hook up stories from guys who proudly parade their sexperiences with exotic women knocking on their doors.

Here’s one post from the site:

“I live in Rio and like to go to CS meetings.  It’s fucking great because most girls there are homeless (aka, looking for a couch) and so if u can offer them a bed, they will come back home with you.  Genius stuff!  So i start talking to a nice Norwegian girl.  Tall and blonde, small tits, though.  I tell her that if “she wants” she can come over my place and stay – it’s no problem for me.  She looks me in the eye, thinks about it for a moment, smiles and agrees.  I’m thinking this is gonna be a slam dunk.  Well it took a couple of days and we ended up hooking up.  Thank you couchsurfing 😉”  (-Anonymous)

Understanding a Couchsurfing Casanova

I’m probably going to sound like an old hag for this, but another thing that irks the fuck out of me on how CS has become now are the never ending copy paste messages you receive from desperate guys who scour the site just to look for a quick bang.

They will:

  • Send you a decent long message introducing themselves and their fabricated lifestyles. (Truth is, they’ve also sent this to millions of other women’s profiles on CS, so don’t  for a second think that you’re special)
  • I’d like to point out a funny comparison with them as how you would define a fuck boi. They want you to hang out at their cribs to watch netflix and “chill”.giphy-1Girls, be warned!


  • They RARELY, invite you out to dinner or a social event on the first time they’ll contact you. Mainly, a CS casanova would rather have you for dinner instead at their place – literally!
  • If you check their profiles, you’ll see most of their references are from women who’s stayed at their houses for a long ass time. (I’m not implying this to all, although most of the 80% male hosts are expecting you to have sex with them when you say YES to their couch invite.)

Am I obliged to have sex with him because I stayed at his place for free?

giphy-2

This is one question most women who travel ask themselves every time a guy offers them a place to stay. Now that you’re a freeloader at his apartment, there’s gotta be some way you can at least repay him back for his generosity right?

There are actually a lot of ways where you can be nice to your host without taking your clothes off. One is, to get them something unique from your home country or state which they can keep as a souvenir, it can be something edible too like candies & chocolates. If both of you decide to go out for lunch or dinner, make sure you offer to pay for the bill or tab. These are only a couple out of millions of ideas where your gestures as a respected guest is appreciated by your host without looking cheap or raunchy.

In some instances, where  you both hit it off somehow because of mutual connection, then by all means, do what you gotta do. Just remember, that you’re not obliged to have  mercy fuck with him just because he lets you stay at his house for free.

Then again…

There are however, women who sleeps around when they travel too. So I guess this goes the same for both male and female “couchsurfers” or should we call them sexsurfers now?

 It’s a shame how the site’s reputation declined because of how most people are using the portal  as a dating app instead. One would automatically presume that Couchsurfing is “not a dating app” because of how its wholesomely promoted online but the underlying tone is that Couchsurfing is actually the BEST site to sleep around with – locally and internationally. Do you agree?

Good luck with those STD shots!

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “The Ugly Truth About Couchsurfing

  1. Mare,

    I just read this super lengthy post and I couldn’t agree more. I’ve met a guy in El Nido and he said that Couchsurfer Users here in the Philippines, especially Gay Hosts, are like this. They use Couchsurf Site to invite Guys in exchange of Sex. Woah…I was surprised actually. Bad Monkeys.

    Like

    • Hi Mare,
      Thanks for the comment! It’s actually been going on for years now. I had a couple of male friends who had experiences staying at another (bisexual) male host’s apartment that expects sex in return for their stay. This goes the same with guys sending couch invites to lady-travelers in exchange for sex and vice versa, it’s crazy! Not to mention bad for the site’s reputation as it totally degrades the main reason why the couchsurfing community existed in the first place. 😦

      Like

  2. There are incidents like that too. But I guess, very few guys would turn down an offer if a woman leads him on to get frisky unless he’s gay or married and ultra faithful to his significant other. On Gays and bisexuals on the other hand – since they are more open sexually – i guess it’s rather a common thing. 🙂
    What do you think?

    Like

  3. I would not Couchsurf EVER again. I was forced to have sex by much couchsurfing host in New York. He is a photographer and hosts only girls – has hosted more than 120 girls so far in 2 years. Only one other girl was brave enough to write a negative review, which I have saved a copy of. Unfortunately, Couchsurfing took the negative review down. In the review, the girl had described precisely his modus operandi and what had earlier happened to me. The guy particularly chooses Asian girls because he knows they won’t raise a hue and cry.a
    I complained to Couchsurfing but all they have said is that the guy has been issued a warning. A warning for rape!? And why did they take down the negative review?

    Like

    • Hi Beth! Thanks for the comment and I’m very sorry you had to experienced such horrible thing! 😦
      One of my friends had the same experience as yours dealing with a couchsurfing host in Brooklyn where she was also forced to have sex with her male host the first night on her stay…the guy apparently guilt tripped her saying she can stay outside in the cold if she doesn’t do him a “tiny favor”.

      Reporting your host is one thing, however the community can ONLY send him a warning and that’s it, which is a let down and a shame on the Couchsurfing community’s side. You can write him a nasty review in his profile so other women can stay away from the creep. I would also suggest Airbnb next time you travel, they are cheaper and more reliable esp with their support team in case situations like these happen.
      Safe travels! 🙂

      Like

  4. I used to couchsurf a few years ago and so one of my challenges for this year has been to try it again, OMG I can tell a scammer when I see it. Being openminded about travelling used to mean something else, not that you were up for casual hookups. I want to meet locals, going to stick with arranging dinners and going to the socials.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s